I've always been a low enery person. I've always slept a lot, and even with all my sleep I've never felt fully rested. I dragged through my days by pumping myself full of sugar and coffee.
The funny thing about my coffee addiction is that no matter how much coffee I ever drank, I was always still tired. The way I always described it to people is that the coffee didn't really give me energy, it just kept me from falling asleep.
Day 4 without coffee. For the second time I slept over 9 hours through the night, and then took a 2 1/2 hour nap during the day. This is nearly half my day. How am I getting anything done? I'm not.
I haven't been able to help my Mom with all the work that's been going into eating this way. I have had to call out of work. I am sleeping all the time, and I feel miserable. I feel useless. Mopey. Whiny. Angry.
I think today was the day it really sunk in. The last couple days were rough and I was tired and had a couple headaches, but I wasn't really upset. I was upset today. I started thinking about coffee all the time. I started missing it. I started wanting it. As I said, I have recently been going a day or two without coffee, but never three days. So after the 3 days it really hit me. I'm in mourning.
This is where positive thinking and prayer has really kept me going. I really have changed my way of thinking. When I start feeling bad and wanting something that I know is bad for me, I stop myself and remember what it's done to me. I think about how I was born with a weak liver and a weak immune system, and I think about making it stronger. I just tell myself that these toxins, these poisons, will take me backwards. I am forward thinking.
Mourning is a good way to put it. I grieved for food right after my gastric bypass. Last summer I grieved for coffee. I think once we rebuild our adrenals we'll feel better. I'm starting to come back to life. I danced in my kitchen yesterday for a few seconds. One legged but still. It was a victory over the constant fatigue. I admire your tenacity!
ReplyDeleteWow, you danced! That's awesome!
ReplyDeleteI think you're the one with tenacity! I think about how hard it is for me and realize it must be a thousand times harder for you. We are both doing great!
I have to admit that it's just from listening to my parents all these years. Don't you hate it when your parents are right? I've picked up all the positive thinking from them. I always thought they were crazy and I thought I was ignoring it, but it was sinking in!